Why are we picking on little fat kids?

kerry_cue02 CropGet the fat kid. Start running blubber ball, we’re out to get ya!
Why are we picking on little fat kids? How did being fat become the greatest crime against humanity? Why do we even think we have the right to corner the fat kid, wrench the burger out of their chubby fist and give them a stern lecture on what they should and shouldn’t eat? Last week the Chief Minister for Lean and Hungry Looks, I mean for the ACT, Katy Gallagher declared a war on fat. There will be fat repentance booths, sorry, clinics. There will be sugary drink prohibition in schools encouraging, I suspect, bootleg Coke smuggling over the border. And there will be government-sponsored body standardisation procedures, oops, lap band operations.

Read more @ The Canberra Times, 18 Sept 2012 : Why are we picking on little fat kids?

Sometimes It’s the Class Clown that Performs Well in Life

Eighteen years ago, HRH and I made the standard middle-class decision to send our first-born to a posh school. Off he went in the oversized blazer armed with a weighty school bag, sports bag, and high expectations. After three weeks he burst through the door, threw his school bag on the kitchen floor, and muttered ”It’s boring. English is boring.”

How did I respond? I did something a bit odd. I wrote him a book. (Not pictured) A novel had been kicking around inside my head for some time. In fact, I had read him many of the ”boy” classics: Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, and, dare I add, Richmal Crompton’s hilarious Just William series. During this time I actually dreamt the novel. When Mr Reluctant Reader started complaining, I whacked the novel down on paper over three weeks and fed him one chapter at a time. He loved it.

Nicko, the 13-year-old lead character, is one of those kids seldom recognised in education. Let’s be honest. Schools seem to only make a fuss over the top, say, 10 percent of academic students, a few sports stars, and some classically trained musicians. Nicko, however, was one of those kids (and there are hundreds like him) who are smart but not in a way school wants them to be smart. I taught many, many Nickos and I adored them. Let me give you some examples.

Read more here: The Nickos of this World

This article appeared in The Canberra Times, 24 Jul 2012 as Sometimes It’s the Class Clown that Performs Well in Life.

Winter Winds Bring Out One Thing: Man Flu

kerry_cue02 CropIt’s that time of the year when the pitiless wind cuts and keens through the empty reaches of gloomy streets, when the snaking neon red reflections of car taillights dance on the soul-black surface of rain-lashed roads and when, if you are brave or mad enough to venture out into the cold and the gloom, the steely chill slices through your flesh to the very marrow of your bones. Yes! Winter is upon us once again with its companion soundtrack of sniffs and snivels, coughs and sneezes. And, as every woman knows, it is ”man flu” season again.

Some claim man flu is a term coined by hard-hearted wives and girlfriends, who refuse to acknowledge the genuine suffering of their menfolk. He coughs. He snivels and sneezes. He looks to her for tea and sympathy and, what does he get? He cops derision and scorn. He gets a box of tissues, the remote shoved in his hands and instructions on how to open a sachet of Lemsip without assistance from the State Emergency Service, and that’s about it.

Read more at The Canberra Times 13 Jun 2012: Winter Winds Bring Out One Thing: Man Flu

The Process Kills the Purpose

kerry_cue03-1 CropThink about lists. If you’re a to-do list writer this article may be a little scary. If you are not a writer-of-lists you should build an underground security bunker, get in supplies including torch batteries, bottled water and blankets while being careful to avoid writing a list, and prepare for the apocalypse – for the future looks grim indeed.

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I’ve been watching a lecture by psychologist Barry Schwartz in the TED lecture series on the lunacy of lists. His lecture was actually called ”Barry Swartz on Our Loss of Wisdom”. One of the consequences of left-brain thinking dominating our culture is our passion for lists. If you doubt the domination of left-brain thinking in our culture I refer you to the work of psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist.

Read more in The Canberra Times, 28 Mar 2012: The Process Kills the Purpose

Love in the Age of Txt Mss

Kerry Cue CARTOONFaster. Faster. Quick. Quick. Click. Do it. We live in a high-speed click-on click-off culture where little time is dedicated to thinking things through and a great deal of time is spent making snap decisions and,  as I suspect when flicking through the free to air TV channels mumbling ‘Not that one. Not that one. Nup. Maybe. Nah’, we also dedicate a lot of time to trivial indecision. It seems that we are often faced today with too much choice yet, paradoxically, too little of what we actually want.

Needless to say, romance, love and commitment are duly processed by the culture into a series of quick click decisions. There is speed dating, sex texting (or sexting), instant text dumping (Iz ova gdby) and one-click defriending on Facebook. It is a wonder that anyone can actually fit a wedding into such a quick turn-around dating schedule. Then again, a wedding does offer an option not available with most other outings namely a 5,000 pic photo opportunity. It’s a pity when couples divorce that they can’t simply photoshop the dub partner out of the wedding pics and insert the new one.

Read Full Article: Love in the Age of Txt Mss

Unleash Your Libido

Kerry Cue CARTOONI’ve always wanted to go into therapy, not to be analysed but to lie on a couch and talk without being interrupted. I grew up in a household where the dinner table was a constant cacophony of noise, elbowing, arguing, speed eating and random displacement.  Finishing a sentence with a verb and without shouting ‘Just shut up for a minute’ was an achievement akin to grand eloquence.

How did such a freewheeling childhood impact on our psyches? Who knows? I’ve just come to the conclusion that keeping sane in my family is best achieved by assuming they’re all mad.

Read Full Article: Unleash Your Libido by Kerry Cue

My Address to the Nation

Kerry Cue CARTOON

We are in the lead up to Australia Day. We know this glorious day is imminent by the sudden appearance in supermarkets of Aussie-flag themed thongs, mini-Eskys and stubby holders. This means it is, once again, time for my Annual Address to the Nation.

Turn off any mobile phones, digital devices and Bluetooth thingys and pay attention. This year I have one question to ask. What’s wrong with you Australia? We are currently engaged in a world event called the end of capitalism. You are involved in this post-apocalypse scenario and you, at this very minute, should be pushing a supermarket trolley down some spookily empty urban street in fingerless gloves while preparing to hole up in a dank, decaying concrete car park to roast an anorexic rat in a beaten up hubcap for lunch. Western Civilisation as we know it is, obviously due to the fingerless gloves/supermarket trolley situation, in decline.

Full Article: My Address to the Nation

THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN 100 STUFF UPS

 6000BC: Beer invented. Knuckle walking returns. Evolution set back centuries.

3000BC: Babylon sacked. 1st spin. Not sacked. Downsized.

2600BC: Great Pyramid built at Giza. Cheap group tours begin.

 2200BC: Stonehenge. 1st large scale DIY garden feature.

2000BC: Horse domesticated. 1st bet. 1st horse nobbled. (See 6000BC above)

1334BC: Tutankhamen made Pharaoh. Royal inbreeding program starts.

Full Article: The HIstory of the World in 100 Stuff Ups

Hissy Fit Nation

That’s it. Right. I’m over it. I’m not putting up with this idiocy anymore. If I have to deal with this nonsense one more time – just ONE more time – I think I might take an axe and smash … no, not an axe. I’ll pepper spray them… look, you can only take so much of this ridiculous, mind-numbing incompetence before you snap. Snap! Just like that!

Damn! That feels good. What’s my problem? Nothing really. Everything, maybe. I was just practising being a Drama Queen. Have you noticed that we Aussies have turned into a nation of hissy-fit throwing Drama Queens? Even if you’re not a main contender, the other 22 million Aussies are up for it. There is always someone on the tellie, in a crowd, in a shop, in a restaurant or in a queue somewhere, who is annoyed, outraged, spitting the dummy, stamping their feet and/or generally getting really pissed off with the service, the government, the universe and everything.

Full Article: Hissy Fit Nation

Anarchists R Us

Happy little campers around the world have set up tent cities or, as in Australia, mini-Global Villages in solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street anarchists. Entertaining YouTube clips show a passing parade of blood-smeared zombies, dread-locked jugglers, wide-eyed babies in pushers, sign-totting anarchist nana’s, unshaven rough-necked unionists with megaphones, thin, wispy-bearded, hand-knit-jumper-wearing vegans, red coated trombonists, Che Guevara flags and hand-made protest posters everywhere.

Full Article: Anarchists R Us