My Address to the Nation


We are in the lead up to Australia Day. We know this glorious day is imminent by the sudden appearance in supermarkets of Aussie-flag themed thongs, mini-Eskys and stubby holders. This means it is, once again, time for my Annual Address to the Nation.

Turn off any mobile phones, digital devices and Bluetooth thingys and pay attention. This year I have one question to ask. What’s wrong with you Australia? We are currently engaged in a world event called the end of capitalism. You are involved in this post-apocalypse scenario and you, at this very minute, should be pushing a supermarket trolley down some spookily empty urban street in fingerless gloves while preparing to hole up in a dank, decaying concrete car park to roast an anorexic rat in a beaten up hubcap for lunch. Western Civilisation as we know it is, obviously due to the fingerless gloves/supermarket trolley situation, in decline.

Full Article: My Address to the Nation

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