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About Kerry Cue

Humourist, journalist, mathematician and author

10 things authors should NOT do by someone who did them all

6. Editors

In the beginning I argued with editors. The phrase ‘shivering like a new born foal’* in my first book arrived in the galleys as ‘shivering like a new born chicken.’ I was outraged, reinstated ‘foal’, to discover in print I’d written ‘fowl’. I’ve woken up in a cold sweat  when,  during  the  Iraq invasion, I wrote about friends who became ‘ dessert  warfare ’  armchair  experts.  I was saved that time.  A newspaper editor didn’t save me from ‘Bass Straight’.  It  appeared  in  the  banner heading too.  As I’m a humorist, they probably thought it was a joke. On the other hand, I’ve had a book editor insist that a character cannot walk ‘ through the door ’ but must walk ‘in at the door.’ Perhaps she was technically correct. I don’t know, but it sounded horrible. She added about 90 @s to the MS. I took them out and sent her an email with the 90 @s.  I  don’t  see  myself  as the hissy fit type.  Note  to  Self:  Be more gracious or shut the FU. We writers often assume our copy is  perfectly  clear  to others. It may not be. Now I’ll go all Jerry McGuire in the sting. To all my editors, who have saved me from my own arrogance or ignorance over the years, a big belated ‘thanks’.

10 things authors should NOT do by someone who did them all

No. 7

In 1982 I had my first book and  first  article  published as well as my first baby. Much has changed on all fronts since then including a 6’2” baby. I know how to get published (See below) as a freelance but, like all paying endeavours, you can be seduced  into  following  the  money trail. I became a freelance journalist and earned a reasonable living  but  it’s  taken  me  30+  years to write my first novel. Could  I  have  written  a  novel  earlier?  Maybe.  Then  again  a 30+ year writing apprenticeship is a good preparation for a novelist. I can’t tell you what path to follow, but I can tell you how to earn money from writing.

10 things authors should NOT do by someone who did them all

No. 8

Just a few words on the bitter reality of rejections. After 35 years of writing, you acclimatise, I guess. One time, however, a newspaper editor rejected one of my articles. I heard he was going on leave. So I sent the piece back to the same section of the newspaper. He didn’t go on leave. And he published the piece. What does this mean? Sometimes they don’t read your copy, not even the title or your name before rejecting your work. Keep that in mind the next time you get a rejection.

10 things authors should NOT do by someone who did them all

No. 9

Signings are hellish. Once I did a bookshop signing in Sydney after tennis great Evonne Goolagong Cawley! She was exhausted. I can only say ‘Heavens be praised! I have a short name’. Kids, however, are funny. At a school talk or a library event they’ll run up to you with a piece of paper torn from an exercise book and ask ‘Can I have your autograph? Who are you?’

10 things authors should NOT do by someone who did them all

No. 10

I’ve been a professional writer for 30+ years. I have 2 books coming out soon. A satirical novel on American Gun Culture, TARGET 91, to be published 2018. And a non-fiction with Doris Brett next year by a local mainstream publisher. Just some thoughts for younger writers apart from KEEP WRITING!

How to reboot your childhood imagination

A writer needs a vivid imagination. The superpower of childhood is a fantastical imagination but it is easily lost. Neuroscience provides an explanation for this.

In The Wisdom Paradox Elkhonon Goldberg explains that a child’s Right brain dominates until the age of 6 years. The Right brain deals with uncertainty, double meanings, metaphors, duplicity, the unexpected, the new. It thinks in pictures but, significantly, it is mute or it would be arguing with your Left brain, the language hemisphere, all the time.

Anything is possible for the Right Brain. The Left brain specialises in language. It sorts, judges, pigeon holes. It is trying to make sense of the world. We are conscious beings. We have to understand what is happening around us or, basically, we are mad. Your Left brain takes over your thinking after  6 years of age as language kicks in. You don’t have to lose your childhood imagination but if it is not used …. it fades away.

I loved maths. I studied Science engineering at university. I taught maths and chemistry for 10 years. All that maths set up railway tracks in my brain which I had to follow in logical steps to the predetermined destination.

I wanted to write. I needed my thinking to be reckless, crazy. It took me 3 years of reading to derail my mathematical mind. I read, in order, historical romance, Erotica ( one fictional glistening, muscled, well-endowed plantation slave still brings a warm smile to my face), science fiction, war memoirs, Russian novels and biographies of strong women.

Finally, I dumped the rail track thinking. Ideas pop out of my brain now like fire flies hovering over head. I have to prune them down to write a coherent piece. The first books i wrote were about my childhood. I relived it. I could walk into my families kitchen, open cupboards and see what was inside. More importantly, I could hear the voices. So Yes! I’m a little crazy. It  helps.

Your memories and the many worlds of your imagination are all there waiting for you to explore. All you need is a little practice.

If you want to reconnect with that vivid imagination of your childhood this clip by called Run Boy Run by Woodkid is SENSATIONAL. Watching it, I was 10 years old again.

Love the middle-aged, morose, driven crime novel detective.

Love crime novels. Love the middle-aged, morose, driven crime novel detective. Here are just a few of my favourites in this category: Morse, Lewis, Bosch, Wallander, Rebus, Perez, DCI Banks,  Frost,  Foyle,  Cannon,  Montalbano,  Harry  Hole,  Jesse  Stone,  George  Gently, Longmire.

Readers keep sending more names. Add Vera (fits the bill despite being female) and Jack Irish.

My satirical Novel about American Gun Culture

My satirical novel, TARGET 91, about American Gun Culture is being published soonAs an Aussie author of 20 books, I still had to work out how to introduce myself to an American audience. Here is my bio blurb introduction for the new book. 

And here are some pics of The Andy Griffith Show (1960 – 1968). It was a sitcom with heart about a widowed sheriff, his small son and a dumb deputy. I grew up in a household that was the The Andy Griffith Show times 5 (there were 5 kids)  on crack cocaine. Not that we took drugs. But my family was crazy enough without chemical intervention. I did write 3 best selling books about growing up on a small police station in rural Australia.

The Rules of BACKYARD CRICKET? Make Them Up as You Go

Shock! Horror! Outrage!
The NSW Australia Day Council is threatening to publish the Rules of BACKYARD CRICKET on Australia Day, 2018. (Go to: Backyard cricket battle over call for same rules for all, Emily Ritchie, The Australian, 13 JAN, 2018.)

There are no rules. That’s the point.

I wrote a LETTER TO ALLAN BORDER in 1988. This comic story about the crazy make-them-up-as-you-go rules of Backyard Cricket was published in The Age, SMH etc.

Ian (Macca) McNamara read out the letter on Australia All Over, ABC.

LISTEN to Macca read: A LETTER TO ALLAN BORDER (above)

Cricket Explained

Cricket tends to cause great confusion among novice spectators, recovering alcoholics and Americans. It is, after all, a game where grown men stand around for days looking bored with no balls or madly hug and kiss each other following a duck. As a consequence, I have taken it upon myself to explain cricket to those who wouldn’t know a gibbon from a googly.

I wrote this article in 2010. More on FACEBOOK.