Will We Ever Find a Cure for Stupidity?

brain scanScience news dominated the media last week or managed, at least, an attention-seeking feline snarl in a Schrodinger’s Cat Scenario, which is, to anyone other than a smart arse of scientific bent, simply a paradox. President Obama announced major funding for neuroscientists to map the human brain. At the same time New Scientist ran a comprehensive article, which should have been titled ‘Why are we so stupid?’ but was tagged ‘Stupid is as Stupid does’. Suddenly, I got excited. Wouldn’t it be mind-blowing if those neuro-geeks could locate ‘stupid’ in the human brain!

The Canberra Times 10 Apr 2013. Read more here: Will We Ever Find a Cure for Stupidity_?

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There Are an Awful Lot of Idiots Out There

Idiots Article-20120925182037598141-620x349Sorry. This hasn’t been planned. I haven’t even thought about it much and, to be honest, I’m quite busy. But the time has come. I can no longer ignore the situation so, with reluctance, I have decided to take on the job of Ruler of the World or, to use my exact title, O Revered Great One, Ruler of the Earth, All Its Dominions, Territories and Subjects, All Its Mountain Ranges, Verdant Lands, Icescapes and Savannas, All oceans, Lakes and Rivers and Fishes of the Seas, All Animals of the Land, Birds of the Sky, and Creepy Crawly Icky Things and Any Other Living or Non-Living Thing Herein Not Specified.

Children. Children. What is to be done? Firstly, any of you currently active in squabbles about YouTube clips and insults to your religion or demands to behead the infidels, pay attention. And, any of you protesting to uphold freedom of speech or currently engaged in acts of drone-warfare against goat herders, please take note. If you believe in one God – of any persuasion – then you must realise, no matter which way you look at this situation, when God in his infinite wisdom made the world, he also made idiots. It may have been an oversight, but there they are.

Read more @ The Canberra Times: There Are an Awful Lot of Idiots Out There

The Idiot’s Guide to Banking

I’ve made a decision. The time is right. You may think I’m being a little impulsive, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to buy a bank. The reasons for buying a bank are obvious. Firstly, they’re very cheap at the moment. You can probably pick up a middle-sized bank on eBay with a lovely portrait of the Madonna and child burnt onto toast thrown in at no extra charge. And the thing is, my current bank has been so eager over the past few years to extend my credit limit; I think I could actually afford to buy a smallish bank on my VISA card.

The next reason for wanting to buy a bank is the prestige. Let’s face it, in all of those Occupations-You-Trust Surveys journalists usually rank somewhere between nightclub bouncers and Charles Manson. From now on, at dinner parties and the like, instead of admitting to being a journalist and therefore responsible for the decline of Western civilisation, general morality, community values, grammar, spelling and IQs everywhere, I can say ‘I own a bank’.

Full Article: The Idiots Guide to Banking

Super iPhoneman

Look up in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a Plane. It’s Super iPhoneman! You may think those fanatics, who were crazy enough to camp outside shops overnight in winter so they could get their hands on the first iPhones available in Australia, are super geeks. But this is not true. They are the superheroes of the new millennium. All right, Super iPhoneman may not be able to fly unaided, but you will find your friendly, neighbourhood super iPhoneman is nearby, ready, willing and able to fight for truth, justice and other stuff as long as it involves a really cool mobile phone with amazing functions. Oh Yes, Super iPhoneman is about to save the world.

Full Article: Super iPhoneman

They Call It the Stock Market because They Behave like Sheep

The current stock market crash resulted, say analysts, from the interplay between the Bull and Bear markets, the sub-prime crisis in America and the slowing down of growth in the global economy. All true, I guess. But the simple explanation for the stock market crash is that investors behave like sheep.

A few years ago some brave mathematicians at the Mediterranean Institute for Advanced Study in Mallorca used mathematical models of flocking behaviour to show that investors behave like sheep. But you don’t need mathematicians to verify the sheep-like behaviour of investors. It’s bleating obvious!

Everyday you hear, tagged onto the end of the radio or TV news, that some stock market index that sounds like the Nasquack has risen three points, that the Hang Long has suffered its greatest fall since 2pm yesterday or that the Footski has gone capute-ski. You don’t have to be an expert to realise that the stock market has more ups and downs than a leading zip fastener in Desperate Housewives.

Full Article: They Call It the Stock Market