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Faux King Christmas Haiku
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Author Archives: Kerry Cue
For a small dog
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My New Career? Ha!
My writing career began with humour. I wrote for 2 comedy shows in the eighties.
So this is a belated return to my ‘roots’. Although, as Dr Sibyl would say ‘That sounds rather vulgar, dear’.
Guy Fawkes: O What a Night!
Why would children do this? There’s no simple answer. Nevertheless, most children today have no chance to ‘play’ with fire other than with devastating results.
But Remember, Remember the 5th of November? Once we had Cracker Night. It was banned over 40 years ago in Australia. Yet the singed hair and burnt fingertips cured the dancing-flame-fascinations of many a young pyromaniac.
My article on Cracker Night ends:
Every time we try to make our children’s’ lives safer, we seem to create a duller world for them. Nothing, I believe, lights up young faces like the dancing sparks of fireworks. They put magic in the air. Children will never get the same glow from a TV screen, but they are safe, I guess.
Full article from Herald Sun and other publications:Guy Fawkes O What a Night
The child you never had …
A friend asked me to write something to confront the negativity in our culture to not having children whether intentionally or otherwise. This is the result. It is just one small window on a vast and complex issue – life.
Book Extract
Here is an extract on the vagueness of relationships today from my new book: MeLand: 10 Ways Self-Obsession Makes You Stupid.
The Agonising Search for a Swim Suit
Illus by Bronya, The Advertiser
This article has been doing the rounds as an anonymous chain e-mail for some years. Now that it is an amazing 20 years old, I thought it was time to claim it. Tragically, it is as relevant today as when I wrote it.
I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing costume. When I was a child in the fifties, the bathing costume for the woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure. Boned, trussed and reinforced these costumes were not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a damned good job.
Today’s stretch-fabric bathing suits are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure chipped out of marble. The woman with a mature figure has little to no choice. She can either front up at the maternity-wear department and try on floral costume with a skirt and come away looking like a hippopotamus that has recently escaped from Fantasia or she can wander around any run of the mill bathing suit department and try and make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluoro rubber bands.
This article appeared in the Herald Sun 11 Nov 1993, The Advertiser (SA) 18 Nov 1993, The Newcastle Herald Dec 1993. Read The Agonising Search for a Swim Suit.
The New Phone Etiquette
A new language is evolving to describe this new phone behaviour. So common is Phubbing (See defn below) today the You Tube clip I forgot my phone now has over 21 million hits.
I forgot my phone screen grab
Not having a phone in a social setting is equivalent to being the only sober person at the party.
Screen grab from Stopphubbing.com website
Phubbing is not the only word we need to describe the social impact of phones on human behaviour. The following posts suggest a few more words we need to describe phone culture. If all else fails you might like to use the word:
Phwanker (n) Any idiot with a phone.
The New Phone Etiquette 1
From Parent Fail Website
The New Phone Etiquette 2
