Let me step you through the

Brief History of How Digital Devices Came to Rule the World.

…….is the year The Wiggles released their second CD. The same year the first text message was sent. Humans revert to baby talk. Soz i wz l8. No wuz. c u @ 4. Humans stop laughing and start typing lol.

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…. is the year the first Harry Potter book is published. That year Google begins. Humans stop asking each other questions and start Googling the answers. Human memory banks begin a rapid decline.

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….is the year terrorists attacked the World Trade Centre in New York. The same year Wikipedia begins. Once Bob Dylan sang ‘The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.’ Now the answer, my friend, is now on Wikipedia.  All human knowledge is stored there. Humans are no longer the guardians of human knowledge.

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….is the year Janet Jackson has a serious costume malfunction during the US Super Bowl. It seems ridiculous defining a year by Janet Jackson’s nipple, but that was the year Facebook begins. Janet Jackson’s nipple set the tone for Facebook gossip. Humans become obsessed with the trivia of celebrities and their own lives.

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…. is the year hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans with tragic loss of life. That same year You Tube begins thus missing a perfect flood of horrific on-the-spot videos. Humans now spend significant amounts of time watching other humans being dumb.

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…. is the year the Bird Flu scare hits world headlines. Deaths follow. Appropriately, Twitter begins the same year. Humans start bitching, whining and abusing each other in 140 characters, a number that exceeds our collective IQ.

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…. is the year the final Harry Potter book is published. That same year the first iPhone hits the market. From now on a bell will ring every 10 seconds in Silicon Valley and a new smaller, faster, cooler and more devious  device will be invented making your current phone look like a giant Lego brick.

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…. is the year Obama is elected to office. That same year the first App store opens. Apps now help you to lose weight, get pregnant, cook, navigate, accessorise, make all life decisions. Humanity will soon be controlled by Apps.

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…. is the year Julia Gillard becomes the Prime Minister. That year the first iPad hits the shops. Smart phones and tablet computers are now the portals to life. Humans cannot live without them.

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is the year Julia Gillard is sacked as Prime Minister. Do we care? Not really. A few grumbled. But let me put it this way. If they tried to take our iPhones away from us there’d be rioting in the street.