The College of Cardinals

Apostolic Palace

Vatican City State  00120

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Dear Your Graces,

I believe a vacancy is about to arise in your esteemed organisation and I forthwith put myself forward for consideration for the position of Pope for the 21st Century.

My credentials for the position are extensive. I have read The Da Vinci Code. So I’m fully aware of the lunatic nature of albino monk assassins and the dangers of carrying anti-matter in the papal helicopter (or was that Demons and Angels) and I’ve seen all the Godfather films, which, as you know, involve influential catholics.

The Canberra Times 20 Feb 2013. Read more here: Vote 1 Kerry for Pope