It’s the End of the World. Again.

There’s an energy crisis in Australia today. I hate to say ‘I told you so’. Actually, I really, really enjoy telling you I told you so. Here is the article I wrote on this topic in 2008.  My main point was DON’T LISTEN TO THE POLITICIANS. WE NEED A RELIABLE POWER SUPPLY.

The end of the world is coming to Melbourne.  Again.  In  the  1959  film,  On  the  Beach, Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner waited in Melbourne to die  from radiation poisoning. Now, according to friends, life as we know it will end soon for us. Let me explain. I hang out with engineers. They’re strange folk. I’m married to one so I know. They do  calculations in their heads. My beloved, HRH, doesn’t yell at us to ‘turn off  the  lights’. He  lectures us on how many mega watts will be consumed over a  20-year  period. The family tends to turn lights off just to shut him up.

My friends and some  esteemed  institutions  are  hot and  bothered about power outages. Summer has been hellishly hot. Power  consumption  hit  a  record  in Victoria on the 10th January. It was, admittedly, a 40 degree scorcher, but schools and many businesses were shut. In  the  meantime, folks  are rushing out and  buying  air  conditioners.  But each new swishing, hissing unit adds a burden to the system.

There’s   no   power   crisis   claims   Rob  Hulls  while  advising  Victorians  to  turn  off  air conditioners. There’s no power shortage say suppliers while explaining recent blackouts as problems  with  individual  electricity  companies.  You  can  believe  them  or do the maths yourself.  Victoria  has  a  supply  capacity  of  around  10  million  kilowatts.  Let’s  assume Melbourne has 1 million households-a conservative figure- and that we all want to be cool, which we do. If every household installs a mid-range 10 kilowatt unit, at peak demand, air conditioners alone will use up our State’s full power supply capacity.

READ MORE HEREIt’s the End of the World. Again

Here is an earlier, more light hearted peice I wrote for the Canberra Times in 2006.

READ HERE: It’s the End of the World. Take 1.

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A party for the ages

Picture 2Vote for SALPP, the Solve All Life’s Problems Party. Do you get distressed when you can’t remember which pin number belongs with which credit card? Do you get frustrated when you find yourself hovering in front of your kitchen bins unsure if the item you’re holding should go in the recycle or rubbish bin? Do you get really angry when your Wi-Fi drops out because you own a dodgy router? If you answered ”yes!” to any of these questions, then I have the political party for you.

Yes, indeedy. And if you get really irritated by people who mangle the English language by bastardising proper words to chortle ”indeedy” or sprout idiotic acronyms like ”LOL” then we can solve that problem for you, too. Yes! The SALP Party is a new force on the political scene. Just when you were too afraid to go back into the polling booth in case you screamed with rage at the mere sight of the major party candidates’ names or slumped into an instant boredom-induced coma and ended up in a chaotic tangle of polling booth cardboard, a new party has emerged to give you hope, faith and free stuff. Yes! We at the Solve All Life’s Problems Party, or SALPP, have policies designed just for you. Our motto is: SALPP is on the Way.

Read more @ The Canberra Times 20 Mar 2013: A party for the ages