I’ve written, maybe, 2000+ articles and many are online. So I asked ChatGPT to write an article for me. Can I retire now? Just use AI to write my articles? The results were hilarious but not in a good way.
The words HUMOROUS and AUSTRALIAN prompted an ANCIENT OCKER text:
Write a humorous article about banks closing in Australia in the style of “Kerry Cue”
Headline: Crikey! Bank Closures Down Under: A Hilarious Twist in the Aussie Banking Saga
Subheadline: The Great Downfall: How Kangaroos and Koalas are Dealing with the ‘No Cash Mate’ Situation
By Kerry Cue | May 19, 2023
G’day, mates! Hold onto your Vegemite sandwiches because we have some ripper news from the land of kangaroos, koalas, and cash flow conundrums. It appears that the Australian banking scene is experiencing a fair dinkum shake-up, with banks closing faster than you can say, “Chuck a sickie!” But fear not, for we’re here to give you a fair-dinkum, tongue-in-cheek tour of this laugh-a-minute rollercoaster ride.
Now, what’s the dinky-di reason for this banking brouhaha? Well, it seems like Aussies have been embracing the cashless lifestyle faster than you can down a schooner of cold brew. Between tapping their credit cards, zapping their smartphones, and throwing payWave magic at every purchase, they’ve left good ol’ bank branches feeling as empty as a snag sizzle without the snags!
As we all know, banks used to be the place where you could pop in for a yarn with Sheila behind the counter while depositing your hard-earned dough. But now, those snazzy self-service machines have invaded our beloved branches, leaving poor Sheila twiddling her thumbs and wondering if her “how’s your day going, mate?” skills are still relevant.
But what about the locals, you ask? Well, they’re in a proper flamin’ state of bewilderment, that’s for sure. Picture this: Barry, your typical Aussie bloke, rocks up to his local bank branch, only to find a note on the door saying, “We’ve gone walkabout, mate!” Poor Bazza is left scratching his mullet, wondering how he’s going to withdraw a crisp twenty to shout his mates a few cold ones at the pub.
And don’t even get us started on the wildlife down under! Koalas are furiously debating how to eucalyptus-tap their payments, while kangaroos are hopping mad because they can’t figure out how to use a smartphone with those pesky paws. Crikey, even the emus are running around in circles, trying to find a teller who can cash their checks!
But fear not, our resilient Aussie spirit won’t be swayed by this banking brouhaha. We’re a resourceful bunch, always ready to adapt and have a chuckle along the way. We’ve already heard rumors of Wallabies hosting financial literacy workshops, teaching fellow animals how to use their joeys to press buttons on ATMs. It’s a sight that’ll leave you laughing like a kookaburra on nitrous oxide!
In all seriousness, though, the closure of bank branches is no laughing matter. Many rural and remote communities are left high and dry, facing the challenge of accessing essential financial services. It’s crucial for banks and policymakers to come together, take a fair dinkum look at the impact of these closures, and find innovative solutions to keep the Australian spirit alive.
So, cobbers, let’s raise our lamingtons and salute the Aussie battlers, both human and animal, who are navigating this “no cash mate” situation with resilience and humor. As we forge ahead into the brave new world of digital transactions, let’s not forget to appreciate the Sheila behind the counter and the sense of community a local bank branch provides. After all, a fair-go attitude and a good ol’ belly laugh can make any banking blues seem like a dropbear scare. Cheers, mates!
Here is my orginal article on banks closing:A Lesson in Modern Banking for the Lost and Bewildered
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