Dear Mr Power Co,

Thank you so much for sending me our quarterly electricity bill of $841.25. I did a quick household head count. There are two of us and we use gas except for the electric oven and the clothes dryer. As I don’t dry towels, just knickers, I’m wondering if I should stop washing and simply buy new knickers then chuck ’em.

Naturally, I did a house search looking for any illegal marijuana crops in a spare bedroom. Those artificial lights chew up the power. No luck there, sadly, just when I needed the crop to pay the bill.

There is one other occupant namely Tuppence, our dog. Tuppence is not a big power consumer. She can’t reach a light switch. I told her, however, it’ll be her duty to keep us warm on those bitterly cold three-dog nights next winter, tough work for a Mini-Schnauzer.

Meanwhile, Mr Power Co, I’m writing to let you know how I plan to pay the $841.25 power bill you sent me.

Plan 1: Buy a power company

Yeah! I’ve gotta get myself a power company. That’s the way to print money. Electricity prices have gone up 60 per cent in three years. We should wipe the Queen off our $5 note and put on a light bulb.

Read more @ The Canberra Times, 14 Nov 2012: Power to the People or Maybe Not